Ladies and Gents

I've had a long standing debate/ discussion with a really good friend of mine about ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin pointing fingers, I just want to say that I'm using my life's examples because I don't have another life to use in comparison... I apologize if you're alluded to in here. Now you know how to avoid it next time ;)
Let's just say that I believe that both women and men have a distinct role and place in eachother's lives and although I think women can accomplish a lot in this world, I would like the men to carry the heavy stuff for me, open doors etc... even if I can do it. I also think that chivalry is a lost art and it would be nice if there was a revival and it was re-kindled!
That being said, I hold to the camp that if men were more gentlemenly, it would give the woman a chance to be more lady-like instead of trying to be some kind of superwoman. My friend, on the other hand (and coincidentally most guys I've asked about this) said that if women were to let men do things then they would be more inclined to act as gentlemen.
This basically becomes a stale-mate, while both sides are waiting for the other to "give-in". So this evening, as I hauled 40 pounds of water out to the patio, I passed two men (both of which physically able to carry the water) who both didn't flinch or ask me if I needed help (to my knowledge). Now, this may not seem like a huge deal, but that water was heavy! I was hoping the man would be a gentleman and ask or simply take the water from me and I think I can speak for him and say that he was thinking that if he asks me, I'll just tell him "I got it!" because "I am woman, hear me roar!" So, we passed eachother with a polite head nod and continued on my way - Although if they would have asked, I would have gladly given them the jug!!
My question to myself is "where does it end?!" Where does someone step up and where does someone back down? I think it's something I have to examine in my own life... but I don't want to be romaticizing the world into something it's not. I have a feeling doors will get shut in my face more often than I would like. Literally. When's the last time someone held the door open to you without the whole, I already opened it so I'll let it go into your hand? As in they purposed to open the door for you?
There is hope for the world! One of the young guys in my kids programme carried the left over water back to the kitchen for me! It was great! I didn't even have to ask him. Maybe he can give lessons to guys around the world who have misplaced the chivalrous bone in their body.